Plan

This is my plan file from years ago. Don't know why I keep it around. . .

Enjoy

  • Just some interesting things
  • Some of Murphy's Laws on Life
  • Why ask Why?
  • Aj's 50 facts on women
  • Some odd Poetry
  • Some advice
  • Closing comments


    Well, the year(s) have passed and I have survived. My plan has been edited and changed throught my time here on this system, and this plan as it is, shall be what remains, for a while at least. The elusive High School diploma has been attained and now, I am off to bigger and/or better(?) things.

    Don't believe them if they tell you that classes will be more difficult away from UNT. They are basically the same with the exception of the math courses, which seem to always be just a bit on the challenging side.

    Well that is all for now, for those of you reading, enjoy the lists and comments, and as always let me know what you would like to see in here.

    Defensive Driving sucks. Nothing else to say there.



    Q1: Which is farther north, New York, or Rome?

    A: Rome.

    Q2: What color is George Washington's white horse?

    A: guess.

    Q3: If you are at the North pole, in a square room, with a window, measuring 4ft, by 4ft, and a large chair in the center, made from wood and glue, and a bear walks in, sits down in the chair and looks out the window. What color is the bear?

    A: white.

    Q4: What direction is the bear looking?

    A: south.

    Q5: Which is farther west, Los Angeles, or Reno?

    A: Reno.

    Q6: Is the St. Louis arch taller than it is wide, or wider than it is tall?

    A: trick question, they are equal.


    These are some of my favorite selections from Murphy's Laws on Life:


    "An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex incomprehinsible truth."
    -Murphy

    "The further away the disaster or accident occurs, the greater the number of dead or injured."
    -Murphy

    "No name, no matter how simple, can be correctly understood over the phone."
    -Murphy

    "Things go worse under pressure."
    -Murphy

    "Leftover nut never match leftover bolts."
    -Murphy

    "Them that has, gets."
    -Murphy

    "Love is blind, but lust just doesn't give a good goddamn."
    -Murphy

    "The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race."
    -Murphy

    "People are always avalibe of work in the past tense."
    -Murphy

    "Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment."
    -Murphy

    "If one views his problem closely enough, he will realize that he is part of the problem."
    -Murphy

    "How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on."
    -Murphy

    "The number of people watching you is directly proprtional to the stupidity of your action."
    -Murphy

    "If a man says to you, 'It isn't the money; it's the principle of the thing.' I lay you six to one it's the money."
    -Murphy

    "Never step in anything soft."
    -Murphy

    "It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object know you are in a hurry."
    -Murphy

    "One goddamned thing leads to another goddamed thing."
    -Murphy

    "Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of."
    -Murphy

    "When anything is used to it's full potential, it will break."
    -Murphy

    "The best way to make a fire with two sticks, is to make sure that one of them is a match."
    -Murphy

    "Measure twice, because you can only cut once."
    -Murphy

    "All the kookies are not in the jar."
    -Murphy



    WHY ASK WHY:?
    -----------

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

    Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

    Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

    Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

    Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

    How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

    If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?

    If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

    If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

    If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

    You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

    Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

    Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

    Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

    You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

    Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?



    AJ's 50 facts about women:

    1. Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

    2. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

    3. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".

    4. Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

    5. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

    6. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

    7. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

    8. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man *wants* to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.

    9. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.

    10. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

    11. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

    12. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing.
    It might be the lottery calling.

    13. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch.

    14. Women think all beer is the same.

    15. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower.

    16. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.

    17. Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things *could* be.

    18. If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

    19. Women brush their hair *before* bed.

    20. Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.

    21. Women are paid less than men, except for Modeling.

    22. Women are *never* wrong. Apologizing is the mans responsibility, "It's there in the bible". hmmm who was it that gave Adam the apple?

    23. Women do *not* know anything about cars. "Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?"

    24. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet.

    25. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

    26. Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    27. Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

    28. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

    30. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

    31. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

    32. PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Punish My Spouse.

    33. The first naked man woman see is "Ken".

    35. Women are insecure about their weight, butt and breast-size.

    36. Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

    37. "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.

    38. Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

    39. Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

    40a All women are overweight by definition, don't argue with them about it.

    40b All women are overweight by definition, don't agree with them about it.

    41. If it is not Valentines day, and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"

    42. Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights.

    43. Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china".

    44. If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)

    45. Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.

    46. Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

    47. Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see womens trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried do you?

    .....okay....only 47 for now :)



    A Friends Advice on Love:


    "Which of your lovers did you ever love forever?"
    -Gilgamesh

    "The heart is the resilient muscle. It is also the stupidest."
    -Nike's "Six Acts of Love: A Passion Play"

    "Love is a matter of chemistry.
    Sex is a matter of physics."
    -Kim Cooper

    "Love is Blind but Lust just doesn't give a damn."
    -Murphy



    Poetry:


    "Dear as remembered kisses after Death,
    And sweet as those by hopless fancy feigned
    On lips that are for others: deep as love,
    Deep as first love, and wild with all regret;
    O Death in Life, the days that are no more! "

    -Tennyson
    (excerp from Tears, Idle Tears)



    OZYMANDIAS:

    I met a traveler from an antique land
    Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
    Stand in a desert. Near them, on the sand,
    Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
    And a wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
    Tell that it's sculptor well those passions read
    Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
    The hand that mocked them, and the heart the fed;
    And on the pedestal these words appear:
    "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
    Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
    Of that colossap wreck, boundless and bare
    The lone and level sands stretch far away.

    Quote from some book:


    How can he sleep, when his thoughts bring back to the night air, and the beach. The night holds his soul, but his heart is elsewhere, and he stirs with unease. His mind is no longer his to master, for as he commands his attention elsewhere, he always returns to the time spent with her, his queen of the night. The Lord of the Shadows looks into the empty night, waiting.

    Darkness passes through your eyes, and you cannot be sure where this is. His eyes touch, and in some ways he seems as much as a lost soul as you, but in others he seems at perfect comfort here, in the middle of nowhere. It is nowhere, yet everywhere for him. He glances out, looking beyond you, though you, searching out past the body, deep into your eyes, to touch your soul.

    Quote from People's .signatures:

    I AM THE WAY, I AM THE LIGHT
    I AM THE DARK INSIDE THE NIGHT
    I HEAR YOUR HOPES, I FEEL YOUR DREAMS
    AND IN THE DARK I HEAR YOUR SCREAMS
    DON'T WALK AWAY, JUST TAKE MY HAND
    AND WHEN YOU MAKE YOUR FINAL STAND
    I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, I'LL NEVER LEAVE
    AND ALL I ASK OF YOU IS BELIEVE


    I don't know half of you half as well as I should like;
    and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve
    Bilbo Baggins--Fellowship of the Ring

    If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
    -- Earl Wilson


    A Quote that someone gave to me that made me look at who I was:

    "Character gives us qualities, but it is through our actions--what we do--that we are happy or the reverse."
    -- Aristotle

    (Actually The quote straight from Poetics is:)

    "Character determines men's qualities, but it is their actions that make them happy or wretched."

    Not sure about the relation between the two, but take them for what they are worth.

    I think it helped me figure some things out.


    A Poem of Myself:

    Found in life so little joy,
    Seems to many a little boy.
    I know myself, here I am,
    Heartless, cold, yet still a man.
    Normal and average I appear,
    But no one knows me here.
    I always think myself to be tough,
    In both the weaker and the rough.
    To some almost 'cool',
    To most only the fool.
    A person with too many dreams,
    Fails and falls, or so it seems.
    Every day I start anew,
    I try to be so just and true.
    A life not bound for glory,
    Afraid of the end of the story.


    And Last, One of the best quotes in the world:


    "If tomorrow never comes, could you live for an eternity with your conscience?"
    --- Anonymous




    I often wonder if I should ever start to delete things from my "plan," but the more I think about it, I realize that even though everthing might not be as signifigant to me as it was when I put it in here, it still reflects me and who I am. (The real me?)

    Another thing that boggles me is the insistant little voice in the back of my head that tells me to find out why. Why what? This is one of the little insights into my mind that I have yet to figure out, so if you have any suggestions, let me know. They might be useful. Maybe not, who knows?

    Again, I sit at my computer and realize that I could babble on about things that probably have no relavance to you, but this time I will spare you, and let you go on to the next paragraph quickly. ;)

    These are not just somethings that are out to the readers of my selections. I have recently (Nowhere near recent now.) come upon an interesting situation. I never have been one to handle things in the best of manners, and I decided that if I ever have to face a situation like that again, I will consider my actions, and make sure not to repeat a mistake, or do something that might in some way shape or form cause someone hurt. (To the best of my abilities.)

    If this might in some way pertain to you, follow those words, I would tell you who said them, but I think that it has been said so many times by so many people that giving credit to anyone exclusively would be unfair.


    "Traveling through this world, we can only grow."
    -Anonymous


    I heard this again on 8-28-95. Funny, it feels more like hurt than growth.

    I find myself wanting to add more for you (the viewer's) pleasure. Yet, I find myself at an impass. Not a thing more to say that I can think of.

    What more should we do?
    Do we really have control over our own paths?
    Have you ever wondered if our paths are set before we get here, or does every decision that we make, day by day, change where we are destined to be? Why can't things work out?
    Life always seems to be turning out without enough time.
    Who knows.
    What more can I say.
    What more can I do?


    There would be many that disagree, but sometimes growing takes us both up and down. With that, I will end my torture of you poor souls with REALLY slow modems, and the other poor souls who were bored enough to read that. I do not know who is reading this, but I will let you know that if you need to talk (be it that I know you or not) let me know, and if I am not crumbling and in the pits of emotional dispair, I will try to help.


    -Glenn



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    Last Modified on July 1, 1998